goal: 200
fruit cup: 70
1/2 orange: 32.5
total: who fucking knows!!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
tomorrow will be better
i've fucking failed today. at everything. i was supposed to stay under 200 calories. i was supposed to get job applications. i've done neither. i feel like such a failure. i was doing so great on not eating much. i only had a fruit cup and half an orange. then i binged on mac and cheese mashed potatoes with cheese and bacon bits and a full huge glass of milk. i tried to throw it all up, but i know i didn't get all of it out. i want to work it off, but i just don't have the energy. even sitting up and typing this, i feel so weak. so i've got nothing to do but sit here and feel fat and sad. and this just sucks. i am such a fucking failure!! i'm not going to eat anything tomorrow! i don't deserve any more food. i can't stand feeling like this. god why did i do that??? i'm so fucking stupid.
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Hi girl.
ReplyDeleteI saw your blog on pretty-thin, and saw that you had a blog here. And I just had to follow you, I spend so much time in here. I follow people with the same problems., and we support each other. It helps me alot, to hear others comments. You are right, tomorrow hopefully will be better. :) Stay strong.
babe... you can't self pity like this.. trust me, i'm like the queen of self-pity and it's not nice. all you will do is tear yourself apart. Look forward instead, think that ok - you ate it and there's no turning back-- but the bright side is, tomorrow your body will burn even more calories if you don't eat a lot. Some days with many calories are good, to prevent your body from going into "self-starvation-mode" because then you won't burn as much fat. so tomorrow is a new day - keep your head up high!
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